Real estate got too expensive for me to practice since clients were to few and far between. I've taken my exams for a state job and have been applying but now with the state running out of money I don't know how that's going to work out. I still get job openings mailed to me from the state so I am sending in my applications when I get local jobs sent to me. I have a disability so I am applying through their LEAP program. Perhaps that will help. I don't know. I want to get on with the state because of the security and benefits. But now it looks like even that kind of job is not very secure. I recently applied with the Dept of Real Estate but I'll take anything they have to offer. I know once you get in there are jobs that they don't offer to the public so there are opportunities to advance.
My son is going into his second semester of college. He was at ARC but has transferred to Foothill College in Mountain View. He moved out recently and is living with room mates. He told me yesterday that they don't run their heater because it's old and uses too much electricity so he was freezing. Ah, the life of a young struggling student. =)
Hubby and I have contemplated moving into a one bedroom apt. until the economy picks up but though it would be more affordable and give us a cushion should he be out of work again, I cringe at the idea of being crammed in a tiny apt. I like my townhouse. It doesn't have the apartment feel, it feels like a home.
Now that property values have come back down, I wanted to have a secure job with the state and save money for two years and then purchase a home in my name alone. Hubby had a nightmare divorce from his first wife and he got caught in child support hell. He had two kids and she had two kids living with her but she officially had custody of all four and so Hubby owes her back child support for the kids that lived with him. With interest it's over $35,000. Makes both of us crazy mad to think about it and she'll never forgive the debt. Even though she doesn't deserve the money and all of his kids are now grown and one is about to turn 18, they'll never see a cent of it. He'll be paying on that debt for a long time. At least once the youngest turns 18 his payments will go to pay off the back support which has increased due to interest. He can't get a home loan as long as he has that on his credit report. I don't want her putting a lien on MY home which she will if his name is on it.
Sometimes I feel like I made a bad choice marrying Hubby. I knew from the get go that he had a lot of baggage and I broke up with him several times when we were dating because I didn't want to deal with someone who had a bitter ex and kids. If I could go back and do it again, I would have RUN RUN RUN!!!!!! Life with him has been a struggle and I often regret my choices. He's good to me and that is his saving grace. But I think he caters to me because he knows what I gave up for him and all he can give me is his attention. We have very little in common. I get frustrated because he tunes out and won't learn new things while I like to read and learn and experience. He's happy to sit in his recliner all day watching re-runs of Walker Texas Ranger. I haven't been to Tahoe, Napa or anywhere in years. He would be bored and his idea of eating out is "drive though."
When Hubby was my age, I was in my 30's. Now I'm his age when we met and he's approaching his 60's. I feel old before my time. He acts like an old man. I love him, but I love him like a family member and I get frustrated that my romantic life is over when I am still vibrant and wanting to experience life. I feel like I am missing my last opportunity before I become too old.
I have a group of friends (we met online and became real life friends) who get together once a month for a pot-luck dinner at someone's home. No kids, no husbands, just the ladies. There's about 15 of us but usually around 10 show up. We've been doing this for about 9 months and I have not missed a single dinner. It's my one opportunity to commune with like minded souls. I even hosted one party at my home. I needed this so much.
I keep thinking that if I get a job I'll feel better.
I don't know what we are doing for Christmas. I haven't put up a tree and probably won't. I bought my son a pair of (much needed) shoes and another small gift and that's all he's getting this year. I've been listening to Christmas music and enjoying the little get togethers with friends. We did a gift exchange at our last women's dinner. We drew names. Then tonight is the Ladies Auxiliary party. There is also a small party at the VFW for employees that I get invited to each year because I do their news letters and the web site. So, I'm getting plenty of holiday cheer. Just don't know what we'll do on Christmas day. Hopefully not sitting with Hubby watching re-runs on TV. He doesn't even like to rent movies. grrrrr..... And going to a movie with him is out of the question. The last movie we went to see together at a movie theater was TITANIC. LOL!!!
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